Unsubstantiated & Uninformed Predictions: X-Men: Apocalypse

Here’s the first of many in an ongoing series of articles called Unsubstantiated & Uninformed Predictions, where both seemingly plausible and wildly unlikely predictions will be made about upcoming movies or TV shows.

Think what you will about the X-Men movies. Some people love them, some people hate them, some people are just into the Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan romantic fan fiction, which has had a resurgence due to the additions of McAvoy and Fassbender.

Some of the movies are clearly better than others. Let’s just totally forget about all the Wolverine ones, and Last Stand is just absurd. But I generally like the X-men movies all things considered. I loved Days of Future Past so obviously I’m excited for X-Men: Apocalypse, opening on May 27th. If you haven’t seen any of the trailers you’ve probably been living on some weird polygamist commune and since you’re reading this kudos for escaping (side note see Martha Marcy May Marlene) either way check out one of them below…

So let’s not delay any longer, here are my Unsubstantiated & Uninformed Predictions for X-Men: Apocalypse

1. Olivia Munn WILL NOT wear regular clothing during any point in the film.

2. Angel will lose a wing/wings

3. Nightcrawler and Mystique will bond over their blueness and Beast will be like “guys don’t forget about me, I’m also blue.”

4. Rose Byrne will die?!

5. At some point Magneto will lift an eighteen wheeler off the road.

6. Quicksilver will make or someone will direct towards him a “quick in the sack” reference/quip.

7. Jean Grey Stark will finally get revenge on the Freys for, wait wrong…never mind.

8. Jean Grey will use cerebro (not that much of a stretch) but only on the third try will she be able to use it properly.

9. At some point  Jean Grey will use telekinesis to throw Beast or Mystique.

10. Nightcrawler’s apparent dad Azazel, who we saw in First Class (red nightcrawler), will not be mentioned.

11. So clearly Magneto is going to say/yell Charles at some point when he sees or talks about Xavier and clearly Xavier’s going to say/yell Eric. So here’s the order that I’m calling that, McAvoy will say Eric before Magneto says Charles, but Magneto will yell Charles first.

12. Towards the end of the movie Storm will change sides and combine one of her lighting bolts with one of Cyclops’ eye blasts to totally funk up Poe Dameron, wait wrong…never mind.

13. We will get to watch Magneto and Xavier play chess one last time.

14. Deadpool will appear in a post credits scene (probably not, but I’d like to see it).

Those are my Unsubstantiated & Uninformed Predictions for X-Men: Apocalypse. If you have any predictions or thoughts on X-Men: Apocalypse, leave a comment and let us know.

 

Photo Credit: Snagged from collider.com

 

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