Over the past few years HBO’s Game of Thrones has risen like Gendry’s manhood just before a forced leeching. Giving the world another great show to obsess over and waste hours if not days binge watching.
Up until now the books have been ahead of the show, often causing cruel book readers to ruin huge plot lines with only a few simple words. I know I’ve had my fair share of weddings spoiled. But with season six there is now a shift. Finally the show is surpassing the books. Sure there are plot lines from a few books back, but book readers and show watchers are finally more or less on the same page. Fan and forum theories are either given fuel or squashed like drunken Lannister naysayers. Much like the last season it seems like there are some mixed feelings out there. I’m very much into this season. I can’t wait to see Zombie Mountain kill more people and I absolutely cannot wait for Brienne and Tormund to get it on…
We’re more than halfway through the sixth season, with episode seven airing this Sunday night. So I feel like now is a great time to make some Unsubstantiated & Uniformed Predictions for what will have happened by the end of the Game of Thrones Season Six. Here we go…
1. Arya will do a running backflip off a wall.
2. We haven’t seen Grey Worm fight in a while so I’m pretty sure we’ll get to see him fight (not a long shot) but at some point during his fight he will obviously make eye contact with Missandei.
3. We haven’t had a castration this season, I think we’re due for at least one.
4. Tormund will die, during a battle where he proves himself to Brienne who makes eye contact with him and gives a slight bashful smile moments before Tormund is struck down (I know this is unlikely since I believe Brienne is off to the Riverlands but I’ll go for it).
5. Uncle Benjen will teach Bran how to make caribou jerky (not sure what else he’s been eating…other than rabbits I guess, which is what we saw him eating last episode).
6. Varys will die, not sure how, probably won’t, but he definitely will. If he does Tyrion and his new pals would be screwed, which would be interesting.
7. There will be at least two more jokes about Theons lack of sausage situation but at some point Theon will stand up for himself and prove himself.
8. We will see Tommen die before we see him bed Margery again.
9. I hate to say it but Wun Wun will die, some how, maybe Legolas will make a cameo…
10. Legolas will appear.
11. Dorne will not appear again this season!
12. On a serious note I think wild fire may be very important in the future war against the white walkers, maybe Brans vision about the Mad King and his wildfire was significant. Maybe Bran influenced the crazy Targ King to whip up a ton of wild fire, maybe not. But I do believe wild fire will be important when the people of Westeros go up against the white walkers.
13. Hot Pie will bake a very detailed wolf pastry.
14. Jamie and Cersei will get it on one more time before the end of the season because HBO loves nothing more than some good old fashioned passionate amputee incest.
15. Sam will get his family’s awesome valyrian steel sword stolen from him, and some probably cool individual, possibly someone we’ve already met, will somehow help him get it back.
16. Walder Frey is gonna die…by getting stabbed in his sleep by his uncomfortably young bride (totally deserves worse).
17. Omar from The Wire will appear. Omar’s so cool.
18. The High Sparrow will have one of those little Django Unchained wrist weapon gagets (unlikely).
19. Bronn will say something hilarious (pretty likely).
20. Tower of Joy secret will be revealed.
Those are my Unsubstantiated & Uninformed Predictions for Game of Thrones Season Six! Please let us know what think, maybe you agree, maybe you disagree, maybe you hate Game of Thrones, or maybe you hate GRRM for taking forever to write a book. Please let us know…
Photo Credit: Snagged from hollywoodreporter.com