Thoughts on Batman V Superman Ultimate Edition

News is the Ultimate “R rated” Edition of Batman V Superman is coming to blu-ray July 19th, and if you’re anything like me you’re questioning whether or not you should be excited. Lets face it Batman V Superman had problems, it was supposed to be awesome and it was only semi-average which means it was a really bad movie. Some people think Batman V Superman is perfect and those people are in need of a hug.
Don’t get me wrong, there were some cool aspects I won’t deny that. The opening with Bruce Wayne in a Metropolis under an alien attack was incredible and a perfect metaphor for Affleck trying to salvage what he can while the DC movie universe crumbles around him. There’s no denying he makes a solid Batman, and thanks to Synder’s knack for stylized fight scenes (one of few) the Batman brawl scenes make Affleck look like a bad Martha F-er. In fact, the scene where Batman saves Martha (Martha…) might be the best example we have of a “Bat-brawl” on film, better than anything out of the Nolan trilogy (before you freak I do love the Nolan trilogy and I think each of them are better than BVS).
Honestly, I don’t mind Henry Cavill’s Superman either, I believe he also does a solid job. I don’t know why he only had 43 lines. Guess that was enough. Only it wasn’t. Zach.
There’s definitely great parts & elements. But there were just too many problems with the movie. Like the logic with Lex Luthor’s plan. At first you’re like cool this seems to be going somewhere, but then in the end you’re like okay what was the point of that, what was the end game, why did I hold my pee for two and a half hours? And I actually like Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex. I thought he did a believable and somewhat interesting impersonation of a more jerk-ish Mark Zuckerberg with even worse parents.
And don’t even get me started on how many times Lois Lane was saved by Superman. I get it, those situations of danger were engineered, what-evs, we get it. Bottom line is in just two DC universe movies Superman has caught Lois Lane in midair way too many times.
Both Captain America Civil War and Deadpool far exceeded anything brought to the table by Batman V Superman. Even Deadpool has a better team dynamic with Colossus and Nega Sonic, who both have way more personality than anyone in Batman V Superman.
So what’s even going to be in this R rated cut? What could they possibly add to make it better? Maybe they’ll give Cavill 44 lines. I hope they give us more in the DC universe cameo department. The hidden amateur porn-esque webcam feeds of Cyborg and Aquaman were terrible and completely out of place (I’m gonna leave out Flash because I kind of liked his little time travel moment). Maybe we’ll see more of Lex’s plan. Maybe we’ll see more Bat v Soops. Hopefully we’ll get more Martha. There’s only one way to find out…wait until your friend buys it, then ask what they added.
On the bright side, there is something to look forward in the DC movie universe, and that’s the lean mean JK Simmons as Jim Gordon. Google it.
You may notice I didn’t mention Wonderwoman. That’s because I’m not sure how to feel about her. Indeed, she was awesome, but they didn’t really explain her at all. Not at all. All we got was a black and white photograph with one of the stars of Smokin’ Aces. I guess that means she can fight toe to toe with Kryptonian super mutants.
If you agree, disagree, or you’re just bored, please leave a comment, and thanks for reading…
Photo Credit: Snagged from theverge.com

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