Unsubstantiated & Uninformed Predictions: Suicide Squad

So this Friday, Thursday for some lucky fans, Suicide Squad hits the theaters. Many people like myself have mixed feelings about BvS and are hoping this will alleviate some unneeded angst. Luckily Suicide Squad looks pretty solid and on top of that its got a crazy cast. I’ve seen the trailers and the TV spots like most of you and I’m definitely excited to see Suicide Squad. Probably not Friday but hopefully later this weekend/week I’ll get a chance to see it… and before I do I think it’s time for some Unsubstantiated & Uninformed Predictions for Suicide Squad. Before I begin I’d also like to stress that I haven’t read any reviews that may be out there or did any crazy research or dug up any plot info, I’ve only seen the trailers and TV spots as previously stated. So…

1. Fans of the show Arrow will complain about the Suicide Squad from their show that disintegrated off the face of the planet after the creation of this movie.

2. When Batman is on screen at some point he’ll totally nonchalantly take a bullet to his body armor then punch someone

3. Rick Flag will chase perps with Detective Linden while struggling with his former meth/sex addictions.

4. The Joker will say Batman at least four times.

5. Slipknot will do like one cool thing then probably sacfrifice himself, also might be comic relief, kinda like Drax from Guardians.

6. The Harley Quinn says Mr. J at least eight times.

7. Will we see Lex? Fug it, let’s go with yes.

8. The movie obviously (probably) takes place post Superman death, so I’ll say people will mention his death at least twice.

9. Alfred will make an appearance but only through Batman’s blue tooth.

10. If we see any Justice League team, Flash, Cyborg, whoever (other than Batman), it will be through a lame ass email.

11. There will be a post credits scene and it will be hinting at one of the future DCU movies so let’s go with Flash.

12. Harley Quinn will end up unnecessarily bending over/doing some type of yoga thing to gratuitously show of the beautiful Margot Robbie.

13. Katana will admit to the rest of the squad what her favorite samurai movie is, is it Seven Samurai or the Last Samurai? She seems like a T Cruise fan so let’s go with Last Samurai.

14. The Suicide Squad will have to kill whatever it is they have to kill and they’ll have some time limit device thing like a bomb or nuke or portal into some parallel dimension that will go off/happen if they don’t succeed in time.

15. Before the film starts the producers or whoever is in charge of the DCU movies will appear onscreen to apologize for the Martha scene and begrudgingly admit that Captain America Civil War was a little bit better.

16. Deadshot will shoot something like a bullet or something aimed towards one of the squad out of the air.

17. Deadshot will also have two family flashbacks.

18. Someone will tell Diablo to “light em up!”

19. Killer Croc played by Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje will channel his role as Adibisi from the HBO prison drama Oz and most likely horrifically force himself on someone.

20. Viola Davis will have communication with them on their mission while she’s in some presidential or military-esque command room, and at some point she’ll lose communications and be like “they’re on their own”.

21. After the producers of the DCU make their apology Jai Courtney will come on and apologize for the way he said “Damn you John” in the last Die Hard Movie. Did anyone else think that was weird? Does anyone else know what I’m talking about?

22. Rick Flag is going to have to tussle with one or more of the squad at some point in order to keep them in line.

23. Harley Quinn will kiss at least four different people on screen in varying degrees of intensity.

24. It’ll end with them heading off to another suicide mission followed by an AC/DC song.

25. I don’t think this one’s a stretch but… I think the movie will be good.

So those are my Unsubstantiated & Uninformed Predictions for Suicide Squad. Go see the movie this weekend and let me know how I did!

If you agree, disagree, or have something negative or positive to say about the DCU please feel free to leave a comment, and thanks for reading.

Photo Credit: Snagged from screenrant.com

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