Suicide Squad Unsubstanited & Uninformed Prediction Results

So… I saw Suicide Squad. Like many of you I was seriously disappointed. I really expected and wanted it to be good. I stayed away from reviews and social media bashing until I saw it and I expected more… we all did. Those trailers promised us some justice for BvS but what we got was some weird Jessie Eisenberg Doomsday abomination. It feels like there’s an hour of the movie missing somewhere in one of Bruce Wayne’s flash-mares. Personally I think BvS was better, you may (strongly) disagree but I think the Metropolis opening scene and Batman saving Martha were better than pretty much any cool scene we saw in Suicide Squad. A few days before Suicide Squad opened I made some Unsubstantiated Predictions and it’s time to tally up the results… (Link to the prediction article below)
https://dustydvd.com/2016/08/04/unsubstantiated-uninformed-predictions-suicide-squad/

1. Fans of the CW Arrow show definitely complained their Suicide Squad was better – one point

2. I don’t think Batman took a bullet but I also thought his cameo’s were not that great, either way – no points

3. Holder & Linden caught mad perps – one point

4. The Joker didn’t say Batman four times. In fact I’m not even sure he said it once, maybe once. I actually thought Jared Leto’s Joker was pretty good, kind of like Heath Ledger’s plus cartoon meth but still pretty good. Don’t know why they would cut his scenes, which is what I’m hearing happened – no points

5. I completely overestimated what they would do with Slipknot, they totally wasted him and killed him off in about a minute which only resulted in a sort of humorous death. Slipknot was certainly not a Drax type character. Speaking of Drax I get the feeling the people that made this movie wanted it to be like DC’s version of Guardians of the Galaxy, which is absolutely wasn’t – no points

6. Harley Quinn said Mr. J only a couple of times, not eight, but she did say puddin’ a few times so let’s count that as a – half point

7. No Lex – no points

8. They mentioned dead Superman – one point

9. No Alfred – no points

10. We saw Flash for a sec not in email form which was cool, but we also saw the members of the League through lame file photos in the post credits scene  – half point

11. There was a post (mid) credits scene and if it hinted at any movie it was Justice League not The Flash, and it was a little uncomfortably similar to Sam Jackson and Tony Stark having Avengers meetings in early Marvel post credit scenes – no points

12. There was most certainly some gratuitous bending. Also, how does Harley Quinn know MMA and stuff, I mean how is she able to fight mutant alien ghost demon people, I mean I know she’s like crazy or whatever but c’mon – one point

13. It wasn’t really said out loud but it was heavily implied that Katana was a Tom Cruise fan. I’m sure there will be a deleted scene that we’ll get to see when the director’s cut comes out. Truth be told I liked Katana and would have liked some more flashbacks with her instead of Deadshot’s daughter – half point

14. Was there a bomb/nuke? I really don’t even remember, this movie was kind of boring – half point

15. No DCU producer apology – no points

16. Pretty sure Deadshot shot a bomb or something out of the air – one point

17. Way too many Deadshot flashbacks or moments where we’re reminded Deadshot loves his child. We don’t need to be reminded that our friendly neighborhood expert assassin villain and or anti-hero has a child, we get it. The movie’s called Suicide Squad we don’t need all these emotions. Also basically all of the focus is around Deadshot or Harley and the Joker, they should have just made two separate movies about them – one point

18. Does anyone tell Diablo to light ‘em up? Who knows – no point

19. Killer Croc was completely underused and was not given a proper chance to shine and I still managed to enjoy his character – no points

20. Surprisingly Viola Davis did not say “They’re on their own”, also why weren’t her clothes dirty after being in a helicopter crash and being tangled up in the Enchantress’ magic tentacle things – no points

21. Know what, I apologize Jai. I actually loved you as Captain Boomerang and I wish they had put more of you in the movie. But what was with the drone cam boomerang – no points

22. Rick Flag never really got to tussle with another member of the Squad – no points

23. Not that many Harley Quinn kisses – no points

24. Don’t think there was an AC/DC song at the end but I’m pretty sure there was a Queen song, also I can’t deny the movie has a solid soundtrack – no points

25. I thought the movie was going to be good, I really did. But it was kind of dumb. The ending was basically just like the original Ghostbusters and Harley Quinn’s fake out betrayal was not a fake out or surprising at all – no points

So, eight out of twenty-five, thats a failing grade proving once again how unsubstantiated these predictions are. It’s a shame that Suicide Squad didn’t live up to our expectations. Even if you liked it you can’t deny the movie has problems. So far the DCU has a terrible track record, especially since it looks like Man of Steel may currently be the best film on their roster. After the Justice League trailer came out I got the same excitement I got when I first saw the Suicide Squad trailers. Will the Justice League finally live up to our DCU movie expectations? We’ll have to wait and see.

If you agree, or disagree and happen to love Suicide Squad, or if you happen to be Jai Courtney, please feel free to leave a comment, and thanks for reading.

Photo Credit: Snagged from screenrant.com

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