Unsubstantiated & Uninformed Predictions: Thor Ragnarok

A few days ago Marvel released the first trailer for Thor: Ragnarok and it looks wild and weird as hell and I am totally into it, check it out…

It looks like a balls out weird adventure that will be both awesome and hilarious and I couldn’t be more excited. I think Marvel’s Thor movies can be a little divisive among fans. Personally, I love Thor 2, not too crazy about the first Thor, and I know people who feel Thor is totally superior to Thor 2. For Thor: Ragnarok there already may be some divisive-ness among fans. I’ve heard some people make comparisons with the new Ragnarok trailer to Guardians of the Galaxy, which I can see but I don’t think the comparisons are warranted. Thor always had a cosmic element and I always thought the character of Thor was a really funny one, so I think this funny wild cosmic theme is a perfect fit.

The idea of Thor and Hulk partnering up for hopefully a good chunk of the movie is an awesome possibility. Apparently Doctor Strange has something to do with this story too, which fits perfectly given the weirdness and the cosmic element. Also, the Immigrant Song, totally awesome and it fits perfectly with Thor. Overall I’m crazy excited for Thor: Ragnarok and I think everyone else should be too after watching this trailer.

It’s been a while since we’ve given any wild and often incorrect film predictions so here are our Unsubstantiated & Uninformed Predictions for Thor: Ragnarok…

1. We see Mjolnir break during the trailer, will Mjolnir be put back together by the end of Ragnarok? We say yes (probably by Dr. Strange).

2. Is Asgard really dead…yes.

3. Cate Blanchett looking like a Mononoke character with her deer head is her evil character’s “final” or “super saiyan” form.

4. Loved seeing Heimdall in the trailer, he was always one of my favorite parts about the Thor movies, he will probably be killed towards the end in an abandoned building by Omar and Brother Mouzone.

5. Cate Blanchett will use her evil galactic powers to escape her abusive relationship with Keanu Reeves.

6. Thor will get his head shaved exactly 28 minutes (give or take) into the movie. Speaking of predictions involving hair, the mystery regarding how Loki keeps getting all this hair condoner will never be revealed.

7. In the trailer, after the destruction of Asgard, we see Thor flying through the air and he appears to land in the stupid trash lands from Walking Dead. Since when did the lame ass trash people from Walking Dead get cool as galactic weapons and armor? More importantly does Thor: Ragnarok take place in Virginia? Probably.

8. Will we find out the fate of Anthony Hopkins (Thor & Loki’s Poppa)…Yes.

9. Hulk will rip evil Cate Blanchett in half.

10. No matter how big he gets or what kind of damage he takes, Hulk’s magical pants will always remain somewhat intact.

11. The screenwriters of Ragnarok will pay $78 in royalties to Vin Diesel for using that “galactic damp rock prison spin falling from chains” bit used in the abysmal clusterfuck known as Chronicles of Riddick, which would make Chronicles of Riddick’s total monetary gross $1,280 including the $78 from the Ragnarok writer’s.

12. Thor’s roommate Darryl will be killed, catapulting Thor into a blind rage.

13. Collector’s gonna collect.

14. What’s the deal with Jeff Goldblum and Loki sitting together during Thor and Hulk’s fight? Is Loki going to ultimately be a bad guy in Thor: Ragnarok, or will he bro out like bro’s do? I think Loki will become good, and die because of it, or at least appear to die…

15. Obviously there will be a post-credits scene, but what will it be? I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that it will be some sort of an introduction to Captain Marvel…

Side note, Karl Urban shooting duel M16’s, yeah that’s cool… Those are our Unsubstantiated & Uninformed Predictions for Thor: Ragnarok which will be hulking out in theaters this November!

Let us know your predictions for Thor: Ragnarok and let us know what you think the post credits scene will be, and thanks for reading…

Photo Credit: Snagged from theverge.com

Thor – Amazon Rental

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