Even though the third episode of the 6th season is hours away, I’d like to take a step back before that to discuss episode two. I fell in love with Game of Thrones as soon as I started watching. I even read two of the books, but stopped cause I got stuff to do, I’m told I need to keep reading, but what-evs. Over the years I’ve revisited all the episodes. I’ve taken part in and spectated countless passionate arguments and discussions between friends and forums. I’ve broke bread with book reader and show watcher alike. I’ve picked up on a few details I may not have learned just by watching the show, and I’ve heard a few interesting if not insane theories that I’d love to see come to true. But during the last episode of Game of Thrones, season 6 episode 2, two of my favorite fan theories were squashed like heads on a wall.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m into the new season. Granted, I think they’re diving pretty hard into some of these plot lines, and I also think they kind of drew out the whole John Snow revival, I mean we all knew it was coming, don’t drag the Wall stuff out for two episodes, just don’t show us any in the first episode and save it all for episode two or three or something you fucking jerks. But I digress. Still, loving the new season. But episode 2 completely tarnished two of my favorite theories, which happen to be wild and absolutely illogical, yet somehow dudes and dudette’s with massive “throners” stretched out the writing between the lines and made these crack pot theories seem plausible.

Theory number one. The less crazy of the two, Euron = Daario. A fan theory perpetuating the idea that Daario Naharis, exotic warrior/Khaleesi boy toy, and Euron Greyjoy, creepy uncle to Theon, are in fact the same person. Which would mean that the Greyjoy’s have some crazy scheme with Deanery’s dragons etc. and that Euron is constantly sailing around the world in a magic boat while boozing it up on shade of the evening. Sounds cool on paper. But as of season 6 episode 2, we know that Euron Greyjoy is indeed a separate person. An awesome person at that, whose introduction into the Thrones universe will no doubt throw a monkey wrench into Westeros. It’s bitter sweet for sure.

Theory number two. Perhaps one of the loonier fan theories, Roose Bolton is an immortal skin stealing body snatcher/vampire who is raising Ramsay to eventually steal and wear his skin. Basically the evidence behind this is a bunch of text describing Roose’s skin as pale and white walkery. I can see it, I wish it were true. I have to admit I love the Boltons. I love Roose and I love Ramsay, in my opinion they’re two of the best characters on the show and the fact that they’re not getting along tears me to pieces. But anyone who’s seen season 6 episode 2 knows that Ramsay kills Roose. Kind of jarringly. I’m not all that surprised, one of them was bound to take out the other at some point. Seriously, Roose, how did you not see this coming, why would you constantly wave Fat Walda’s pregnancy in Ramsay’s face then not expect him to do anything weird, one of his pastimes is forced penis removal?! All I’m saying is you dropped the ball on this one.

As I said before I like the new season so far and I can’t wait to see where some of these plot lines lead. Although, I have a suspicion that these jarring wild twists and turns are going to keep escalating. Hopefully we’ll catch up to Hotpie, who hopefully won’t be dead, hopefully…